Ben Stokes has admitted that his decision to step away from international cricket was far from easy, revealing that he spent much of the week trying to talk himself out of it before accepting that the moment had arrived. The England all-rounder announced his retirement on Sunday, the fourth day of the third Test against New Zealand at Trent Bridge, in a move that surprised many but, in his words, felt inevitable once the decision was made.

Speaking to Michael Atherton after New Zealand wrapped up an emphatic victory on the final day to seal the three-match series 2-1 on Monday, Stokes said the call had been weighed carefully. He explained that the final responsibility rested with him and that he had leaned on people he trusted before coming to terms with the fact that he could not push on any further.

“I think I explained in as much detail as I could yesterday,” Ben Stokes said. “At the end of the day, the most important person in making decisions is myself. I didn’t take the decision lightly. I had a number of people I trust to talk through it. I tried throughout this week to see if I could get myself to go beyond it, but it wasn’t meant to be.”

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The England captain also admitted that while the timing of the announcement was unusual, there was something fitting about the way it unfolded during a Test match. He said only a few people close to the team knew the night before, before the rest of the squad were informed on the morning of the announcement.

Ben Stokes acknowledged that his final appearance came with a hint of controversy, but added that such complexity somehow suited the story of his career. “It was a bit unusual,” Stokes said of announcing his retirement in the middle of a Test. “I told a few people closer to the team the night before and then the team in the morning. There can be a bit of controversy around my last game, but that’s probably fitting in a way. Something simple ended up a bit complicated, but I’ve enjoyed every time I’ve walked on the field.”

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Looking back on his international journey, Stokes said he felt privileged to have shared the field with some of England’s greatest players and to have been part of memorable moments across different eras. He singled out Joe Root, Stuart Broad, James Anderson and Alastair Cook, while also paying tribute to the younger players who have emerged during his time in the side.

“I look back at some of the things I’ve been involved in and I’d say I’ve played with some of the best players England has ever produced. I’ve shared special moments with them and with younger players coming through. ’ve been lucky to see what Joe Root has done as a player and captain, and he’s still going.”

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He added, “Stuart Broad, James Anderson, Alastair Cook – those greats of the game. And also players I’ve played against who have done amazing things. I feel incredibly lucky to have been part of those moments.” Stokes ended with a simple reflection on a career that has delivered drama, success and lasting memories. “Yeah, it’s been some ride, and something I’ll always look back on with fond memories,” he said.