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Robin Uthappa Opens up about ‘Suicidal Thoughts’ and Depression
By CricShotsStaff - Jun 4, 2020 3:55 pm
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India international wicketkeeper-batsman Robin Uthappa revealed how he sought ‘outside help’ to cope up with depression. The Rajasthan Royals batsman suffered from depression back in the early stages of his international career between 2009 and 2011.

Robin Uthappa
Robin Uthappa

Robin Uthappa, who made his India debut in 2006 and won the T20 World Cup in 2007, said he had to deal with suicidal thoughts and it was extremely difficult for him to deal with them when he was not playing cricket in the off-season.

Speaking on ‘Mind, Body, and Soul’, Uthappa said,  “When I made my debut in 2006, I wasn’t overly aware of myself. A lot of learning and development has happened since then. Right now, I am extremely aware of myself and really clear on my thoughts and myself. It’s easier for me to catch myself now if I’m slipping somewhere in someplace.”

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Speaking during the same, Uthappa shared how he seeked help and began to know more about himself as a person. He said, “I feel I have reached this place because I’ve gone through those tough phases wherein, I was clinically depressed and had suicidal thoughts. I remember around 2009 to 2011. It was constant and I would deal with that on a daily basis.

He added, “There were times where I wasn’t even thinking about cricket. It was probably the farthest thing in my mind. I was thinking about how I would survive this day and move on to the next. What’s happening to my life and in which direction am I heading.

Robin Uthappa
Robin Uthappa

Robin added, “Cricket kept my mind off of these thoughts but it became really difficult on non-match days and during the offseason. On days I would just be sitting there and would think to myself on the count of three, I’m going to run and jump off of the balcony but something kind of just held me back.”

“That is when I started noting this down about myself in a diary and started the process of just understanding myself as a person. I then started to seek outside help to make those changes I wanted to make in my life.”

Uthappa continued by mentioning how important it is to understand that no one is can feel positive at all times. He adds how the negative experiences will certainly help mold the person.

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“I feel sometimes being negative is necessary. I’m someone who believes in the balance of life and I believe one cannot at all times be positive in life. Being negative or having negative experiences, going through trials and tribulations is sometimes necessary for one’s own growth,” he said.

“For me, all my experiences have molded me into the person I am today. I have no regrets about my negative experience as they’ve helped me develop positively.”